What If....?

This is a question we have all asked ourselves in various phases of our lives, some out of curiosity while others out of fear. I’ve spent the recent past of my life questioning myself over and over again: what if I had done things differently, what if I had made different choices, but I seem to receive no answer. Irrespective of how much time and energy I spend contemplating the possibilities, I haven’t been able to come to a conclusion that satisfies my mind and brings me to peace.

Choices are made, and even though some aspects are out of your control, at the end of the day they are your decisions, and you, and only you have to bear its burden. Now you can have a lot of excuses, a lot of but’s, though such reasons will simply not calm the conscience, it will only poke its way through many more questions, you just wish you didn't have to face. On the other hand not all ‘what if’s’ are negative in life, some may give you a sigh of relief instead.

Photo By Petr Vins 

Irrespective of what actions or in-actions you debate in life, I’ve learnt that there are no answers, it’s simply a vicious cycle that nothing can be achieved from. The longer you stay in it, the more endless the misery will seem. There is no way you will ever know what would have happened if you had done things differently, or if you would have chosen otherwise. There are no answers that will satisfy your mind of the numerous if’s and but’s in life.

Acceptance of your actions and its consequences is the only way forward. Yes, you could have done things differently and maybe things would have been better, but what if they weren't? Yes, you could have chosen otherwise, but life is full of barriers and you would have still met your share on the other path. The only thing you can do is learn from your actions as well as that of others and maybe next time you won’t leave room for another ‘what if’.

Depending on the severity of your actions, it may sometimes be impossible to get rid of the guilt, but there is definitely something you can do to ease the pain of an already bruised heart. Find ways to fix your mistakes or even minimize the damage or at the least learn from them. On the other hand the more thought you put into your actions and decisions in life, the better the chances that you will feel content with yourself, irrespective of the consequences as you would have done your best.

Life can be rather difficult to live with regrets and therefore you can either try your best and leave no room for another ‘what if’, or excel in the art of rationalizing your actions, as there is no other way out.