Ignorance

For some ignorance is bliss while for the others there is nothing more frightful. What is it that you prefer: knowing it all or closing your eyes and avoiding the pain instead?

Though I’m not arguing that one should refrain from educating themselves to make the right decisions in life, sometimes choosing to know more about an unpleasant event or an occurrence  only cause the heart to ache. An ache that cannot be numbed, cannot be escaped and will just linger on forever like a thorn stuck deep within. Do you really want to know why he cheated on you or how she could walk out that easily? Why life is rather difficult for some, or how you really made them feel? Can you digest the truth that forever is not really forever and when it comes to love, you may just be alone.

Photo by debaird

Though a part of you may be looking for answers as you ask your innocent questions, you may be in for a surprise. In most cases you are left with more questions and a greater heartache than you started with. Does that mean no answers exist? Because it was an unpleasant event, I think answers that will soothe the ache do not exist and you just have to let time be the healer. Does time really heal though? I don’t think so, but it definitely does an excellent job at distracting us with our everyday lives and hence numbing the pain. For how long though? Maybe till the scars are not revisited and the desires not asked?

I guess my point is, sometimes in life you just have to let go. Though there is always something you can learn from your mistakes (or the mistakes of others), overindulging in grief or regret is never a healthy move. The quicker we accept the situation, take what it has to offer and move on with our lives, the better of we are. Why not keep the unanswered questions for an evening when you put on your philosophical hat instead?

At the end of the day ignorance can definitely be bliss if used in the right situations. Knowing it all is a desire of the ego and sometimes the mind needs to step in to prevent the pain this can cause. There exists a fine line between asking the right questions and asking too many questions that defeats the purpose itself.

Sometimes not knowing all the dangers can be the only way you will dare to learn to fly again.

What If....?

This is a question we have all asked ourselves in various phases of our lives, some out of curiosity while others out of fear. I’ve spent the recent past of my life questioning myself over and over again: what if I had done things differently, what if I had made different choices, but I seem to receive no answer. Irrespective of how much time and energy I spend contemplating the possibilities, I haven’t been able to come to a conclusion that satisfies my mind and brings me to peace.

Choices are made, and even though some aspects are out of your control, at the end of the day they are your decisions, and you, and only you have to bear its burden. Now you can have a lot of excuses, a lot of but’s, though such reasons will simply not calm the conscience, it will only poke its way through many more questions, you just wish you didn't have to face. On the other hand not all ‘what if’s’ are negative in life, some may give you a sigh of relief instead.

Photo By Petr Vins 

Irrespective of what actions or in-actions you debate in life, I’ve learnt that there are no answers, it’s simply a vicious cycle that nothing can be achieved from. The longer you stay in it, the more endless the misery will seem. There is no way you will ever know what would have happened if you had done things differently, or if you would have chosen otherwise. There are no answers that will satisfy your mind of the numerous if’s and but’s in life.

Acceptance of your actions and its consequences is the only way forward. Yes, you could have done things differently and maybe things would have been better, but what if they weren't? Yes, you could have chosen otherwise, but life is full of barriers and you would have still met your share on the other path. The only thing you can do is learn from your actions as well as that of others and maybe next time you won’t leave room for another ‘what if’.

Depending on the severity of your actions, it may sometimes be impossible to get rid of the guilt, but there is definitely something you can do to ease the pain of an already bruised heart. Find ways to fix your mistakes or even minimize the damage or at the least learn from them. On the other hand the more thought you put into your actions and decisions in life, the better the chances that you will feel content with yourself, irrespective of the consequences as you would have done your best.

Life can be rather difficult to live with regrets and therefore you can either try your best and leave no room for another ‘what if’, or excel in the art of rationalizing your actions, as there is no other way out.

Life – Like a Drive through the Mountains?

Sounds exotic doesn't it? Or maybe even crazy as some may say. But I insist, that’s how I want my voyage to be. Partly mesmerizing with incomparable beauty, partly intimidating of not knowing what lies ahead and partly even terrifying as I step into the unknown, just to find myself in harmony with everything I was afraid of.

Think about it, how does it feel when you drive through the mountains? The narrow uneven terrain keeps you on your toes while the mesmerizing scenery doesn't let the mind wander. The windy roads keep the mystery alive and every turn reveals a magical new tale. The rivers are gushing, the animals chasing even the trees whispering, there is so much vibrance and yet the feeling of stillness. And just as you wish to pause time and stay in the moment forever, the next instance hypnotizes you all over again and you are simply delighted to know you didn't.

Photo by Kyle Kruchok

The moon that felt so lonely in the midst of shimmering city lights, feels right at home in the tall standing trees. The ever changing river that finds its way even through the toughest terrain, makes long-lasting relations along the way, yet averts from its purpose for none. Even the darkness in the forest isn't creepy, rather inviting instead. It may be murky and you may be hesitant, but just as the moon senses your fear, it steps out of the clouds and illuminates the dark forest with its radiance, making it the most serene and peaceful moment of your life.

Sounds unreal doesn’t it? But we all know that this is rather very real. I didn’t say a life like this was easy, just like accessing the mountains was inconceivable at one point in time. But isn’t making the impossible possible what makes life worth it all? Don’t you think that a person who’s never experienced the mountains may be missing something in life? Then is there a possibility that we are missing something in our lives as well?

To me the idea sounds exotic enough to put in an effort and make it a reality. Life should be serene, adventurous and every moment simply breathtaking. It should make you heart skip a few beats, make you look back and smile and the curiosity of tomorrow make your nights sleepless. 

Women and Shoes – An Intimate Love Affair!

A match made in heaven or the devils nest? Depends on who you ask.

What is it about this fetish that intoxicates such a large population of the X chromosome while the Y chromosome remains untouched? Is the Y chromosome not worthy enough? Do they even realize what they are missing out on? I don’t think so, just like the quote says, “Sometimes you just don’t know what you’ve been missing till it arrives”.

Photo by Franci Strumpfer

What is this shoe fetish all about? The feeling of falling in love all over again at its sight and adoring perfection as you slip your feet into them. The perfectly rational logic of owning 10 pairs of black shoes or even investing in a larger home for the extra leg room. How each pair is unique with its individual charm and poise and simply irreplaceable. Some may call it infatuation. You like something, you have the desire to own it and then you simply get over it. But I’m not sure if that’s the case with me and shoes though. I can look at a pair of shoes I bought years ago and still adore it like it was yesterday. Just admiring it gets back all the memories associated with it. The way the heart skipped a beat when I first saw it, the contemplation associated with desiring it but realizing that I do not need another pair and then finally the guilty pleasures of convincing the so called rational mind on how we were just meant to be.

Just because some may be unable to comprehend the feeling does not mean it doesn’t exist. Researchers and psychologists from all around the world have tried to link this phenomenon to various behavioral and psychological patterns. They say you can tell a lot about her from her shoes: self confidence, elegance or sometimes even symbolizing the desire to attain attention, shoes seem to play a vital role in our lives. Though why do we love shoes? Is it because they make us look good or because they look good on us? A bit of both I think. Though shoes can set the mood and top up our apparel with just that perfect something, not everyone can carry it with elegance and poise. You’ve got to have the right attitude to let the shoes compliment your personality.

So it may not be a match made in heaven and though the Y chromosome may insist on the devils nest, I like to call it innocent pleasure instead. It makes the X chromosome happy and causes no harm, well….except burning a hole in the Y chromosomes wallet.

To me, they just make me happy. Why? How? I don’t know. And to be honest, it doesn’t matter. What can be worse than falling in love and asking why?

Can Ex Jobs Feel Like Ex Boyfriends?

A few days ago I had an interview right across from my first engineering job, a job I realized I still unconsciously dread. There I was, 3 years later, walking on the same streets with the same aura, the same blue sky and the same glass buildings. The streets still filled with rushed drivers and the sidewalk still had the inconsiderate pedestrians.

As I walked along, I felt my heart beat increase, though I wasn’t really sure as to what made me nervous. As the thought of running into someone from my previous work crossed my mind, I froze. To be honest my first job was a perfect job on paper. A great multinational company with multidimensional opportunities, a gorgeous office overlooking the city, a great package with lucrative bonuses combined with a high profile working environment. Though nothing catastrophic happened at my first job, I simply didn’t enjoy it. The work, the working culture, the environment, they just weren’t me. With the thought still overwhelming my brain, I continued to my new destination contemplating the possibilities.

Though the correlation can sound rather absurd, I felt the same fear that I’d feel before running into an ex boyfriend. Would he want to talk to me? What am I going to say? Why did I not come back, why did I decline their offer? Responses like “It was me not you” rushed to my head as I walked faster avoiding eye contact. A few more steps and there it was. The coffee shop where I spent 2 years of my working life wishing I wasn’t there. Every single molecule in my body froze, I couldn’t, I dint want to enter.

Suddenly this new job felt like I was considering returning to my ex. I mean it was right across from the previous job with the same downtown culture that I once hated. A similar multinational company in the same industry, it would possibly also have a similar corporate culture with its associated working environment. And then I thought to myself, why am I here? Is this what I want? Am I really ready for this?

Even with all these thoughts gushing through my brain I was able to have a successful interview and the company didn’t sound as bad as I had imagined. Now though this job has all the positive attributes of my previous job (negative attributes I’ll have to discover myself) the question remains: Do I get back with him? I guess it is a vicious circle that we all are stuck in, whether it is a job or a boyfriend. As time passes by the reasons why we ended a relation or declined a job offer lighten up from our memory, and we fail to see why we did what we did. On the other hand people change over time and therefore we question ourselves, maybe it won’t be that bad this time, maybe this one is different.

The Fear Of Being Judged

No one likes to be judged, but ironically we judge others as often as we blink our eyes. Whether it is a celebrity or the girl next door, everyone is judged to various degrees either consciously or unconsciously. Though being judgmental does not necessarily have to be negative, meeting new people or analyzing situations without having preconceived notions can be a challenge in itself. An art, I’m still trying to learn. Though exceptions exist, our society is rather built on a lot of such generalizations that have now become social norms, some assist us while some restrict.

Does having an intellectual job really define a person’s caliber or does wearing a short skirt really make a girl easy? I don’t think so. It’s a personal choice, not everyone loves chocolates and not everyone is afraid of the dark. If we can accept such differences then why do we generalize on the others? Why do we all walk faster while crossing a built man with tattoos and why is a girl walking alone always tried on?

It’s a free world isn’t it? Then why are there times when we reconsider our choices just because of what others might think of us. Now you could say that this is a sign of low self confidence but that’s not the case. You could be a very confident and determined person but just the thought of what the world might think of you can make anyone conscious. Not because your choices in life are wrong but because they are just different, out of the norm I guess.

What I’ve learned over time is that people that really matter will either not judge you or ask why before they create an opinion about you. They will accept you the way you are and be willing to understand your choices. On the other hand if they act like the rest of the world, then it’s your fault in the first place, you picked the wrong people to be close to you! I may sound harsh, but it’s true. People who love you, will always be there for you and if they walk out on you then aren’t you glad you know?

You may say “I don’t limit my opportunities; I do what I want to do”. But think again, do you really? Would you be doing exactly what you are today if you had just followed your heart? If so, then lucky you, I hope to get there someday. If not, then revisit your heart’s desires, maybe you couldn’t do it at one point in time, maybe the time has changed, maybe you can relive that feeling now, maybe it’s not too late.

Life is too short to worry too much on what the world thinks about you, if you think you are doing the right thing, the world will see it as you radiate it in every aspect of your life. If you doubt yourself, so will the world.

Rain.

Exhilarating or Depressing?

Depends I think, on what we choose to see.

Though I’ve been a fan of rainy days all my life, sometimes such days can be rather gloomy. The cloudy, cold and wet day interferes with all the daily chores, groceries take longer, traffic is slower and I’d rather cuddle up in a blanket with a warm coffee than have the thought of venturing outside.

Photo by Evgeni Dinev

On the other hand, rain has a magical touch to itself that we fail to notice sometimes. An aura, that not only connects us to this vivid experience, but also to every other creature on the planet. It is a time when everything in nature pauses to be awestruck by the experience to follow.

As the clouds approach, magically everyone from the chasing lion to a new born cub are aware that something majestic is about to happen. Clouds gather up, murmuring and whispering the tales of our land while lighting and thunder awaken the dark sky. The ocean roars to make its presence felt while the wind swirls to dance in its music. The burning desire of the sun is subdued while the earth breathes the coolness instead. As the drops of ecstasy fall upon us, the world is in harmony, the lion isn’t hunting and the deer isn’t afraid. Perfect synchronization occurs between the tides and the wind as they meet the rocks like lovers do.

Mesmerizing isn’t it? When every drop that falls on your skin touches your soul. When you dance fearlessly with the clouds as they visit the mountains. When even the sun, unable to resist, peaks in and unknowingly unveils the hidden rainbow.

Truly Exhilarating !

Compliments!

We all love them. Obsess over them. Blush when we get them. Sometimes even wait for them. But yet rarely ever give them.

Photo by Lily

Do we underestimate the value of compliments? Do we forget the joy of being appreciated? The electric energy that flows through your body and the way it radiates on your face with a smile. The way you unconsciously like that person just a little bit more. The way the world seems a happier place and you notice you are smiling at strangers. Somehow people notice the cheerful you more, and you attract more good words. The way the rain doesn’t blemish your new dress anymore, it adds to its charm instead. The way the words stay with you during difficult times, the way they cheer you up.

Isn’t been recognized something we all long for? Aren’t the positive words that make a difference? Then how come things going wrong are never missed, but we fail to notice how gorgeous the little girl looked while making sure her hair was perfect or how elegant the grandmother looked still wearing her wedding ring? How do we forget to appreciate the charming creases of experience on the face of a construction worker or the selfless nature of a limping soldier?

Maybe we don’t miss it. Maybe we notice it, appreciate it in our minds, but in our busy lives fail to convey it. But the world continues to be just as stagnant, the ocean just as still and nature just as colorless. Can you imagine what a single compliment can do? A single thoughtful word may add a ripple in the still ocean, remind a flower of its color, give a hug to a longing heart or even make a tear change its mind!

Do your share, appreciate the world and be amazed at the ripple effect it creates.

Capturing Infinite Energy

I was in a mall yesterday when I saw a 3 year old kid sprinting from one store to another aimlessly. The mom followed screaming ‘Bret, Stop, Come Back’. Though the mom gasping for air, following the kid’s zig zac route definitely made me smile, it made me wonder we well. How do kids have so much more energy compared to us adults?

Although kids have a more physically challenging schedule than us, this kid was fresh, full of life, exploring every corner of his newly claimed playground with hands wide open, welcoming the world. Though the kid’s liveliness made the mom smile, she was in no way going to win the battle till the kid hit a distraction or decide to stop and be amazed by nothingness (At least it seemed like nothing to us).

What is the intrinsic difference between kids and adults? Are the worries of the world so grave that they prevent us from capturing the infinite energy available in the universe? Can’t we all think of moments, when though we were exhausted, we are flushed with all this energy from nowhere? Like when you’re favorite song plays on the radio? Or when you run into an old friend?

So is being tired more physiological than physical?

Maybe.

At least I hope it is. Don’t the possibilities of what can be accomplished seem limitless then? We just need to make sure we are having a great time!

The Mystery of Friendship

How do random strangers become so important in our lives? We had no reason to meet them. No intentions to gain anything from them. Just like us they were walking on the streets. We crossed. Smiled. And that’s all it took!

Years passed by and memories were created. Life moved on but you stuck together. People came and left but you never questioned why you stayed. It is just luck or is it destiny? Why one and not the other? Do we connect at levels we are not aware of?

Photo by Aernst

What magic is it that makes our worries disappear around them? Endless nights staring at the stars, words seemed unnecessary. Desires were shared and fears conquered. A hug when you needed it, a shoulder to cry on. The peaceful aura, the cheerful hearts, the crazy memories and tears from laughter. Even time stood still, looked us in the eye, mesmerized and envious, smiled and stopped by.

It’s an indescribable feeling. Something I can’t explain. Though it makes me wonder, what is it that makes it so special?

Curious Are We?

I know I am.

About nothing in particular though, depends on what catches my eye and makes me wonder. From how to find our passion in life to is there cheese on the moon? From how to save the world to how does gravity work? The mind is limitless, the universe endless and I plan to explore the ocean of possibilities!

To introduce my blog, I’m hoping to create a relaxed ambiance where I can talk about random things and get your opinions on the same. Have you ever wondered the same? Maybe you have some answers? Or maybe I can confuse you even further. If so, then lets continue sipping our coffee or whiskey (which ever instigates your philosophical side) wondering and contemplating life.

I’d love to hear from you, comments, feedback, opinions or even questions (don’t promise I’ll have answers though) are all welcomed.