Ex’s Ay!

Sometimes Ex’s can make it harder for you to move on, even though in your heart you knew you had good reasons for your decision. Have you ever tried to move on in life, but things around you just don’t let you? You put in the effort for weeks or even months and then someone does something and it drags you back to square one, just like that. Notice how your happiness actually depends on the happiness of people around you. It’s rather difficult to move on with your life if your other half refuses to do the same. There is the guilt, the ‘aww’ factor that they still care so much and then of course there is you rethinking and questioning your decisions all over again.

Photo by Joegus
Is all this healthy though? I mean how many times can you go through the same cycle before going insane? Though sometimes the ending of a relationship can rather be excruciating for one person, we just have to learn to move on. For some it is more difficult than others. Though I’m no expert in relationships, here are a few insights to get over the misery, or help your other half do the same.

Part on Good terms!
This is the single most important rule and possibly the most difficult as well. It simply can’t get better than to part on a sweet note. It will save the both of you a lot of mental trauma, whether you move on in a jiffy or if it takes you a lifetime to forget someone. Parting sweetly (though it may sound ironic) will give you a chance to continue to remain friends, share moments that you enjoyed while realizing that you weren’t meant for each other and avoid the sudden closure to your relationship.

Talking things out
This is a pathetic idea. Who came up with this? You discuss your situation and talk about things when you are breaking off (assuming you’ve rightfully given it enough thought and have strong reasons for your decision), after that talking about it must simply end. There are no added benefits of continue to ‘figure’ things out. It simply elongates the trauma session without providing the aching heart any ease. The quicker one accepts it the sooner they will be on the path to recovery.

Cut yourself some slack
It wasn't your fault and there is only so much you could have done to make things work. Break up’s usually leave one partner feeling like they weren't good enough. That’s not true! It takes two people to make a situation work, and two to break it as well. Don’t doubt yourself and give yourself a chance to see what the future has in store for you!

Distract Yourself
Now I don’t mean to recommend jumping into bed with the next person you meet, but it causes no harm to have a sweet ‘someone’ around to distract you. Catch up with old friends that you may have lost touch with or maybe even go on a date with yourself and spend some time alone. It will help you re-discover yourself and see the bright side of the situation.

Life is not supposed to be difficult but sometimes we make it harder for ourselves and the ones around us. Its simple, if you are the one that decided to end a relationship then trust yourself on it. It does not help to be indecisive and jump in and out from it. On the other hand if the break up came as a surprise to you, accept it and give it a chance. Maybe it is for the better. Maybe in your heart you knew as well that it wasn't perfect, then why settle in life? Explore the world, you’ll be surprised at what you find.


PRATIK DAS on September 4, 2010 at 9:12 AM said...

nice write.must say i am not exactly the right person to comment on your post as i have never been in a relationship till date.but hell yeah!! life is too damn important to be wasted on a single person and as u aptly said "Life is not supposed to be difficult but sometimes we make it harder for ourselves and the ones around us."

Curious on September 4, 2010 at 11:39 PM said...

Thanks Pratik, I guess sometimes we fail to look at the bright side of things ay ;)

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